Here We Go Again

It had been more than two years since my last fight and life was (and is) good. I married a wonderful man and we were expecting our little boy. I was about 4 months pregnant when my Ob/Gyn suggested that I go see my oncologist. I was terrified. They took my blood, ran a CBC, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When I spoke with the doc and I asked about the pregnancy he said in his usual way, "If you'd have asked me if it was a good idea, I'da said no, but..." He explained to me that recent studies show increased estrogen levels during pregnancy have no direct correlation with breast cancer reoccurrence, told me I was "pretty nearly perfect" and said he�d see me in six months. Does the word relieved mean anything thing to you?

I was about five months pregnant when my Ob/Gyn suggested that I see my breast surgeon. On November 16th, 2006, with my husband at my side, I did just that. With such a great report from my oncologist I was not nearly as freaked as I should have been. It had been too long since my last mammogram so she sent me down stairs to have one. Oh, yes you can have a mammogram during pregnancy. You may think you can't, maybe you were even told you can't but there's a whole lot they can do while you're prego that you didn't think they could do. They draped two lead aprons around my swollen belly and assured me that it was safe for my little tadpole. Now let me just explain something, I know I was pregnant almost immediately, I got in the shower one morning and I about screamed when the water hit the girls, so imagine that mammotorture. I mean mammograms aren't comfortable under the best conditions, try having one with pregnant, swollen, angry boobies. I'm sure the hormone induced attitude didn't help the situation.

I was my doctor's last appointment so it was late when my husband and I went down and two hours later when we got back to her office she had already sent everyone home for the evening. My husband and stood in front of the light board looking and the black and white image of the inside of my breast, and after the world's longest mammogram both of us were a little worried, unfortunately not without cause. My doctor found some questionable spots in the scar tissue from my previous lumpectomy.

Because there were these tiny spots in the scare tissue and not a large mass a special table is used to take a more accurate needle biopsy. You lay down on your belly (oh, you mean the basketball under my blouse?) and there is a hole in the table where your breast is stabilized. Well my swollen belly made that impossible for so on November 27th, 2006 I had a surgical biopsy to test the questionable areas and on November 29th, 2006 we found out that my cancer had returned. So now I'm six months pregnant and have breast cancer. This was all a little bit more than I wanted to handle. I thought it was a little bit more than I could handle, I don't know. I know that I questioned myself and my faith and I wasn't sure how to be brave. My brain had such a terrible time processing everything. What did this mean for my unborn son? What did this mean for me? What about my husband? How much treatment would there be? How was I going to afford being off work for treatment when I had no more sick time left? It was all just too much to think about. I did know that I had to do whatever needed to be done after all I have a wonderful husband and beautiful little boy (albeit unborn) counting on me. I was just so scared.

Tests, Tests & Still More Tests

The day after we got the pathology report back on the biopsy, November 30th, 2006, my husband and I went to see my breast surgeon to discuss what to do next. I was sure that there wasn't much that could be done while I was pregnant but I was wrong. Just like I was wrong about pregnant women being able to have mammograms, obviously it is safe to have a mammogram while you're pregnant.

First we have to make sure that the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else. When breast cancer metastasizes it usually occurs in the lungs, liver and/or bones. To check the lungs we did a chest x-ray (making sure my belly is covered with a lead apron to protect the baby), for the liver an abdominal sonogram and for the bones an MRI without contrast. And last but not least a modified radical mastectomy of the left breast. The test results and the pathology from the surgery would dictate how we proceed from there. If the test results show the cancer has spread or if there is a lot of lymph node in involvement, we'll have to start chemo as soon as possible which would mean taking the baby early or begining treatment with the tadpole still in my belly. If the cancer is localized to the breast then I can keep the li'l guy in my belly until he's ready to come out (which is what I'm hoping for) and then we'll discuss treatment options.

The chest x-ray and abdominal sonogram were easy. I get sono's all the time and the chest x-ray was no big deal, but that MRI holy hell! First they tried to put my big belly in a regular old MRI, but I'm a big girl to begin with and then add pregnant I just didn't fit. Talk about embarrassing! Fortunately there's an open bore MRI close and we were able to get an appointment that week. They had to do the entire spine so it took more than 2 hours. I'd never had an MRI before and no one told me how loud it would be or how difficult it would be to lay on my back for that long. I really didn't think I was claustrophobic, yep, I was wrong. If I ever have to have an MRI again it will be way too soon. Blah!

Test Results

We went that Saturday, December 2nd, 2006 to get the sonogram and chest x-ray. The abdominal sonogram took forever but it was easy. I asked the sonographer, unofficially of course, if she noticed anything unusual and she told me she didn't so I felt pretty good about that test. The chest x-ray took no time at all and but since the tech does not develop the film right then and there I'd have to wait for any clue as to the results of that test. My doctor had the results back at my next appointment. Of course we'd have to wait on the MRI as I hadn't had it yet. Thankfully the results were negative and there was no cancer in my lungs or liver. What a huge relief. Now all that was left to do was that damn MRI.

When I called to make the appointment for the MRI I explained that it was for the full spine. Apparently most MRI's are only for either the upper, lower, or middle spine, so the woman who made the appointment missed me telling her the whole spine and when she got the orders we had to reschedule for the following week, December 7th, 2006, at 6pm. But we got it done and the results were also negative for cancer and we proceeded with the mastectomy. Oh joy.